Minggu, 29 Mei 2011

I'm nothing



The big thing is --> I'm jealous
. I'm jealous of her. She's pretty, i'm nothing. She's smart, i'm nothing. She has every little thing that will make him head over heels. But me? Na-ah i have nothing but a childish attitude and the great invisible skill. Maybe i don't deserve him. Maybe i'm not that good for him. Or maybe i'm just scared he won't look at me for who i really are?

Yeah, that's it. I'm scared he will stop loving me. I'm scared he will let me go. I'm scared he won't keep his promise. I'm scared this only happiness for a moment. I'm scared i'm not good enough for him. I'm scared he will go to his past and never come back.
I'm not being paranoid or what. I just wrote what my heart feels like. It feels like a bomb ready to explode. Not because of anger. But because of sadness-and jealousy-.
I admit it, i'm weak. God make me strong, yes i know. But, still, i'm weak. All i can do is cry, cry, and cry. All i waste is tears, tears, and tears. All i need is tissues, tissues, and tissues (?) *cry**cry**cry**cry**cry**cry**cry**cry**cry**cry*
Although he said to me no need to be afraid but still. Although everyone said to me he's mine but still. Although my friend said to me what the heck but still. Although big sista said to me just enjoy it but still.. --' *meh**meh**meh*

;;

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